Talk:Fifty Shades Freed (book)/@comment-65.94.53.221-20140709204410/@comment-59.95.161.166-20140728081944
To the one who wrote the initial comment. Ok its not like I have to comment back for the sake of it or simply for supporting what I had said earlier. Infact I would not reply if it din't feel like a real conversation to me. Look the 'Cristian-not-being-himself' thing..I said that with a different perspective than yours. But I get what you are saying. How I look at the story - Cristian had a traumatic childhood, his mother pimp physically abused him ,he lost his mother and much more..his life throughtout this was difficult. He has anger and other such disorders because of this. He comes across this lady elder to him who introduces him to this BDMS thing, telling him it will help him channelize his anger & energy. He is a minor, only 15 yrs old and isn't prepared to make that decision so its sexual harrassment that he went through. Elena made him accustomed to that lifestyle. But he definately din't mind it because he still stayed freinds wth him later. What I am saying is IF Ana hadn't come in his life he would have continued with that lifestyle but he changed for Ana. He wanted her in his life. And you would agree that he entered the realationship ''on his own terms ''so I believe it was this love..this comfort or whatever it was that Cristian felt with Ana being in his life as a partner..that made him want to change. Now I am not saying that its always supposed to be like this. That each & everyone with a bitter experience in past should try to accomodate to the conventional storyline ? you know..marry someone..have kids..adjust as per your spouse. Lets say it shouldn't matter..an abusive past or any other diificult situation or no difficulties at all. .its fine if you can't think of settling down the conventional way. Yeah natural can be taken as the person he wound have been if he had not faced such incidences in his life '''but he did '''and it sure shaped his personality and it sure shpaes anyone's life & personality in a way. I mean you can't deny that fact. So yes it was the rael cristian. Agree with you on that point. But on a personal note I can't approve of BDMS or anything like that. There are other ways to channelize your energy and ways to let go of your anger. I do not know in depth but you sure seem to know much more in this regard because of your group sessions. I'll tell you I watched this movie 'The perks of being a wallflower' weeks before. Its about a high school student who experienced sexual abuse at an early age..now skip the details but it was showed in the end that he was overcoming his past and will soon move into college and you know looking forward to his future with his friends by his side. And the other one was 'Sleepers'..I don't know if you have seen the movie. It simply portrayed the experience of 4 young friends in a corrcetive home. They chose different paths in life later. But you just can't compare such incidences. You ought not to. Yes for some the level of trauma they undergo can be higher but it certainly is difficult for all of 'em. Two movies and they both moved me. Not like I am oblivious to such reality but these two flicks really made an impact. And the later one 'Sleepers'..it has a connection to this exchange of ours. After completing the movie..for a moment I was like...damn things could have been different in their lives. But then you do understand the situation and realise that yes things could have been different but they were not. They were not different because there was no such scope.And there ought not be any sense of helpness in this..No. Its just...one had an experience and it infuenced and may effect the course of life one leads. Like many a times particular stories in each ones life effect their life paths..the thing it that such traumatic past as mentioned above and in the book is much much much tougher. I don't know if people who experienced such trauma would agree to this point of view. I just hope to give an easier outlook. If its crap then just tell me so I won't mind. So when you say " I understand where you come from and why you believe that"..well yes you are right. I can't claim to understand this better than you but I have written these long replies cause this matter is something I do care about. And yeah that disorder Ana had or might be she had..well I hvn't read the book so may be..this angle is a valid one. :D Also I dont know how she actually reacted when she learnt about the past of Cristian so can't comment on that either. And yes if she has any emotional issues or insecurity complexes than yeah Cristian should definately change that for her own sake. There can eb a fourth addition in respect to this. Love is ablout bringing the best in another. Right